There it is, a clear statement, in bold text, that I do not require the assistance of a web design, marketing or app development company. It may be a simple landing page, it may offend your sensibilities as a web designer, but I do not want your services.
Really. Do NOT contact me to offer such services, unless you wish to be the subject of mockery, dripping with sarcasm, for your failure to comprehend the meaning behind this text.
Those of you who acutally create webpages have already determined that this page is not displayed in error. Your sales team, however, has not, and probably contacted me anyway. They probably also gave me an alias, knowing that their true name should bear great shame for their lack of reading comprehension. These actions have prompted musings of naming and shaming further companies who contact me in spite of the warnings above.
Ask your sales team, do you want your company to be considered foolish because your sales team tried to pretend there's no webpage here, or failed to read plain, simple text?